Tuesday, December 14, 2010


for the third time in the last five and a half months......................No!  Don't go there--this is me, Marilyn, grandmother, Sunday School teacher, farmer.  

Back to what I was saying.  I am so excited I could die.  I just had the most awesome experience and I need to share it with someone.  I can't call my kids because their kids are in bed.  I can't call my Mom because she is in bed.  I can't call the two men who work with me because it would definitely be waaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyy toooooo much information for them to handle.  So, I am going to tell you.

I have had a life changing experience.  Since I moved into this house, which is tiny and old, I have only had a decent bath three times----if you count tonight.  If you are queasy, just stop reading.  My "baths" have consisted of 2 inches of lukewarm water in the bottom of the bathtub.  By the time I get done, the water is beginning to freeze over.  In my other house I was accustomed to filling the tub to the brim with steaming hot water and sliding in  for a long, relaxing bath.  If you ever borrow any of my books, you will find them wrinkled because I occasionally dropped one in the water and I always turned the pages with wet fingers.  It was a luxury to which I had become accustomed......................so you see my suffering.

But I didn't complain.  I just did what I had to do to get clean.  Occasionally I would try the shower.  I have a deep well and the water on the farm is full of minerals.  My shower head has about 4 little holes for the water to spray through------------and the water sprays in 4 different directions.  So I plug the drain and allow the tub to accumulate some water so at least my feet feel clean.

If you read my earlier post you will remember that I "bathed" in the rinse water after I washed the dishes Sunday morning.  It's really weird bathing at the kitchen sink, hoping to get done before someone comes to the door.  On occasion I have "bathed" at the bathroom sink because I could not bear to allow the tub or shower to disappoint me again.

So I suffered alone in silence.  This fall I was missing my old tub and giant hot water heater so I went over to my abandoned house, locked the doors, filled the tub to the brim, and took a long leisurely bath.  It was so wonderful to be back in my old tub so I decided to start going over there for my daily bath.

 The second time I bathed at my abandoned house something was different.  I filled the tub to the brim and slid into the water, but it wasn't quite as hot as I had remembered it.  When I was done, I went to see why the water wasn't hot like I liked it...................................the hot water spout that hooked up to the washer in the laundry room was leaking badly.  I tried to turn it off, but it kept leaking.  I am a very creative thinker, so I decided to get a water hose out of the garage, connect it to the spout and plug the hose so the water wouldn't come out.  It kept leaking at the water spout.................the gasket was gone in the hose end.

But, I didn't complain.  I just started "bathing" at my "new" home again.

You know I really do believe that God notices even the smallest problems we have.   NOOOOOOO!  I really do.  I didn't ask God to miraculously rain fire down from Heaven to boost the temperature of my water.  I didn't ask Him to remove the leprosy of my shower spout.  I just did what I had to do to get clean.

But let me tell you.....................God noticed!  It was like the hand that Jesus extended to Peter during the storm on the Sea of Galilee.  It was like the parting of the Red Sea by Moses.  It was like the multiplication of the loaves and fishes...............God notice that I was suffering(?) and he cared enough to respond!  He made my one-heating-element-rust-and-mineral-clogged hot water heater die.  It was like the sudden death of Pharaoh's army as they tried to follow the Israelites through the Red Sea.   It was like the expulsion of Adam and Eve from the Garden of Eden.  It was like the death of Nebuchadnezzar's soldiers when they threw Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednigo into the fiery furnace.  The word was spoken and it was DONE!!!!

Jason pronounced my water heater dead at 4:07 on Monday afternoon.  The men-Jason, Andrew, and Stuart began to discuss their options.  Jason agreed that I needed a new water heater, so he called our plumber to see if he could install one for me.     NO.................he wouldn't be able to get to it until next week.  I was brave.  I was accustomed to suffering.  I didn't complain.  I wasn't a drama queen about it.  I said I could do without it until next week.  I could heat water on the stove for my "bath" and to wash my dishes.  I could take my clothes to the laundrymat in town. 

But Jason didn't like that.  He thought his mommy needed a hot bath EVERY day, so he asked Andrew and Stuart if they could install a water heater for me......................Jason was still recovering from knee surgery.   They said they could.  Then we talked about our options for purchasing a new water heater.  We could buy one for about $300 through our electric company------that is where the dearly departed had come from.  It had one of those energy-saving devices on it.  It would be good enough for me.  I was a nobody and I'm not rich and I don't deserve a full tub of hot steaming water.  Just like I don't deserve to have my toast toasted from edge to edge................but that is another story.

Something in me broke loose like a wild river toppling a dam!   " I don't want an energy saving hot water heater.  I want a super deluxe giant hot water heater  that heats to 220 degrees F and  makes the electric meter spin out of control and fall off the pole.  I hang my clothes out on the line to dry all summer long and if I want an energy guzzling water heater, I can have it.  I even have enough money to pay $100 to $200 more for the super deluxe giant water boiler if I want to!  "

The men were totally silent.  I apologized for my outburst and walked into the kitchen to put my saucepan of "bath" water on the stove.  The men left without a word.

This morning I left early and went to town.  It took me most of the day to do my errands and by the time I got home it was past five o'clock.  I walked into my laundry room and there, shining like a lighthouse in the storm was a super deluxe, energy guzzling water boiler.  I nearly died!  The men had installed it for me during the day while I was gone. 

 I raced to bring all my things in from the car and I hurriedly put away my groceries.  Then the moment of truth was at hand.  Had my God saw me in the hour(s) of my distress?  Had he heard my voice calling in the wilderness?  

I turned the hot water faucet on in the tub and plugged the drain.  I reached out to feel the water as it began to gush from the spout.  It was cold, but it gradually warmed and soon I had to remove my hand from the now boiling, steaming river of life.  I watched as the tub rapidly filled, the steam rising until I could barely make out the rim of the tub.  I tore my clothes off, stood on the edge of the vanity and dived into the fountain.  The crawl, the backstroke, the butterfly...............I did it all.  My God had delivered me and I was washed clean of my sufferings!  I had to tell someone, so I am telling you.

P.S.  This is all very tongue in cheek, but you know..........................I really do believe my God cares about the smallest things in my life.


  1. So sorry you have been suffering all this time. If I knew a fellow neighbor had suffered so much, we could have invited you over for a little respite. You see, almost every night I drain our hot water heater and then slip in to the watery bliss that is my garden tub, sink up to my chin and sit there until the water has turned cool enough I can't stand it. Yes, I am an environmentalist but will not be denied this one small pleasure.
    Jimmy loved this post and demanded I read this.

  2. glad those boys got you fixed up!!! I agree there is not much worse than having to work so hard for hot water and then it's cold again before you can even enjoy the bath. Enjoy your soaks and another good book :)

  3. Mom, yeah you have hot water! This is great...wish you had called!