Apple Pickin'

Since I wasted most of my day in town I decided to limp on over to the apple tree.  I had already picked the apples that I could reach, so I  had a plan to get some of the apples that were higher up on the tree.................I needed longer arms so I got a garden fork..............you know the kind---four curved tongs, long handle.  I decided that I could grab a limb that was beyond my reach and pull the limb low enough that I could reach the apples.  I guess I didn't learn anything the last time I did this..........................don't stand beneath the limb you are grabbing or you'll get a big, hard apple in the forehead.     I got 2 Walmart bags of apples and had to quit.  Why are the biggest , best apples on the top branches?   I guess I will have to ask Jason to help me get the rest of them, although I'm not sure the apples would be worth it.  The last time Jason "helped" me get the apples he brought the loader tractor over.  Being the good son he is, I naturally assumed he would get in the bucket and I would raise him up to the top of the tree.  But, he didn't trust me to run the loader bucket..............................and I didn't trust him..................we were at an impasse.  Reason finally took over and I thought to my self,  " He wouldn't do anything to hurt me............I'll get in the bucket and let him raise me to the top of the tree. "  I stepped into the bucket, which was  still on the ground.  "Piece of cake" I thought to myself.  I looked across the hood of the tractor and realized Jason was smiling.  Suddenly, and with a jerk, the bucket was off the ground about 3 feet----------------it seemed like ten.  I kept looking at Jason, thinking he was screaming-- trying to warn me of impending disaster, but he had this smile on his face.  You can't smile and scream at the same time...............................the bucket jerked up another 3 feet and then I knew where the screaming was coming from.  I clung to the bucket hook, my knees shaking and my chest heaving.  One more jerk and I was above the apple tree.  Tell me, why would I want to bend over and pick the apples beneath me?  It took me a few minutes to calm myself and I politely asked to be lowered so I could pick the apples at arm level.  Another jerk, another look at that hideous grin on my good son's face, and I quickly picked the apples that I could reach.    By this time, I really didn't care if I picked the apples or not.  If I had been big enough I would have thrashed him with a peach switch.  So, you see,  This year, I'm not really sure I want to get the apples from the top of the tree.  But on the other hand, I could ask Andrew to help me.   If you ask Jason about this he will deny it.